


Razed

by charmandhex



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Less cursing than in TAZ proper but still there, Lucretia going to Wonderland for the Animus Bell, Non-Graphic Violence, The rest of the IPRE makes a brief appearance at the end, What happened in Wonderland and some of the aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 19:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14361876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandhex/pseuds/charmandhex
Summary: Wonderland was developed to systematically devastate, break down, and obliterate anyone who set foot inside, leaving only suffering behind. Lucretia didn't have a full understanding of what she sent Tres Horny Boys into. Some years earlier, she definitely didn't know what she was walking into.Or, another idea on what Lucretia went through in Wonderland, what happened next, and healing from Wonderland.





	Razed

            Lucretia stood at the edge of the clearing, looking down to the center where Wonderland waited. Since receiving the flyer, she’d prepared extensively, though verifiably true information about the place was elusive. She’d never managed to track down an actual winner to ask what exactly they had faced, and the stories she’d heard secondhand varied dramatically. Preparing for the unknown with such high stakes was nerve-wracking. But she also had some help. “Ready?” The sorcerer beside her, Cam, asked. She was already grateful to have him; taking down the massive lion with impenetrable golden fur on her own would have had her exhausted and at an immense disadvantage just walking into Wonderland.

            Lucretia looked at the flyer in her hand and placed it in her bag, nodding, starting forward. They were about halfway to the tent when Cam spoke again. “Huh. Well how about that.” Lucretia looked behind to find Cam studying a billboard… directed at him. Lucretia swallowed, wondering how they knew Cam was coming, just as she wondered how they could possibly know about the existence of the Animus Bell when she’d wiped it from everyone’s memory. Perhaps that was part of the Bell’s abilities. She’d never gotten a full explanation from Barry as to what exactly the Animus Bell could do, after all. Though Lup’s, Davenport’s, Merle’s, and Taako’s she understood only too well from when they were misused. The memories of what the Relics were capable of pushed her to start moving again.

            As Lucretia and Cam stopped at the end of the path, the wall of the circular building finally stopped spinning on a white space, and a door, emblazoned with Lucretia’s and Cam’s names, appeared. Lucretia didn’t leave herself room to doubt. She had prepared, and she had come for the Animus Bell. She quickly entered Wonderland, followed by Cam.

            It was dark. Impossibly so. Lucretia tried to discern something, anything, and only came away with the knowledge that it was a large, possibly empty chamber. But then it was illuminated, panels on the floor, circular wall, and ceiling flashing neon, and two elves were strutting along a runway, posing, while upbeat music flooded the chamber, briefly deafening Lucretia just has she’d been briefly blinded by the sudden change in light. Eventually the elves stopped at the end of the runway, looking down at Lucretia and Cam.

            “Welcome to Wonderland!” The female elf announced. “We hope you didn’t have too hard a time in the Felicity Wilds.”

            “Looking for your heart’s desire? You’ll find it in Wonderland!” The male elf grinned widely at them.

            “That’s right! But it won’t be an easy journey, oh no.” Lucretia blinked, and the female elf was suddenly standing between her and Cam, an arm thrown around each of their shoulders. Lucretia couldn’t feel it though, which seemed… oddly familiar. She knew the feeling, but she couldn’t yet place it.

            As if to distract her from the puzzle, the male elf suddenly appeared before them. “Now, rules are pretty simple around here. You’ll undergo a series of different tests and games to see just how much you _really_ want your prize.” That seemed easy enough. Lucretia desperately wanted to find the Animus Bell, to hopefully reverse the damage that she and her family had done to this world and prevent its destruction. What could you want more?

            Then both elves were back on the stage. Lucretia glanced at Cam, who was looking suspiciously at the elves. “The tests are going to be… far from easy, but in Wonderland as in life, you can only find what you truly want by losing anything that could ever hold you back.” The female elf shrugged. “So, follow our rules, fight right on through the pain, and you get to leave here happy.”

            “But break our rules or try to find workarounds, and you won’t leave here… happy. Nope, not at all.” In contrast with the gravity of the statement, the male elf clapped his hands gleefully. “Any questions?”

            “No.” Lucretia spoke quietly, while Cam shook his head.

            “Excellent! Let’s go!” With a snap of their fingers, the elves, along with most of the runway, disappeared, leaving only the circular platform they’d been standing on, which lowered to waist level.

            It was then that Lucretia realized it was a roulette wheel, though unlike any she’d ever encountered in any world, with different symbols like an eye, a brain, swords… She glanced up to see a stone door with two dim red circles over it. It hadn’t been there before.

            The female elf suddenly spoke. “Your first challenge is the Wheel of Sacrifice. You spin it, and then you give up whatever it happens to land on. It’ll be a challenging decision for sure, but if you decide that whatever it happens to be is just _too_ valuable, you’re free to refuse. But there’ll be a penalty involved, and those can get quite nasty.”

            The male elf continued. “Each of you will take a turn at spinning the wheel and making the sacrifice. Whoever has spun the wheel has to make the sacrifice. Once you’ve sacrificed enough, the door opens, and off you go to your next test!”

            Lucretia stepped up and spun, landing on backpack. “Oh, this one’s pretty straightforward, and the best part is, it’s an easy one for you to begin on! We wouldn’t want to start off too hard; you’ll get discouraged, right, Edward?” The female elf spoke.

            Edward replied, “That’s right. We’ll need you to give up something in your possession, Lucretia, dear.” Lucretia’s heart raced for a moment as she recalled the Bulwark Staff, which she’d left behind with Davenport. She’d known two Grand Relics in one location would likely end in disaster, but she was suddenly intensely grateful for her foresight. “Hm… Do you have any ideas, Lydia?” Edward sounded momentarily disappointed, and Lucretia had the sneaking suspicion that they knew about the Relic she’d left behind.

            “Like we said, can’t get too harsh right off the bat, nope… ooh, how about that charm against fire and cold damage? That’s a nice visualization, fire and ice.”

            Lucretia hesitated for just a moment and saw some black smoke flicker near her face. But she set the charm on the wheel, where it disappeared. The first light illuminated.

            “Excellent, excellent, moving along swimmingly.” Lydia chirped. Lucretia stepped back, and Cam stepped up, spinning.

            “Oh, mind, one of my favorites.” Edward said laughingly. “Now, mind, Cam, requires you to give up a part of your memory or maybe a mind-related skill. We could say… hm, you have a lot of interesting memories, Cam.”

            “Now Edward, that might be just a bit too much. Cam, you’re a talented sorcerer, and sorcerers cast using their charisma. How about we ask you to give up one tiny point of charisma, make your spell-casting just a _little_ bit harder?”

            Lucretia and Cam looked at each other, eyes wide for different reasons. “I…” Cam hesitated, and Lucretia watched as black smoke, exactly like the smoke that had come out of her mouth, but rather more of it, came from Cam, floating upward. She would have tried to figure that out, but Lucretia had a rather more pressing problem.

            What if she spun mind, and they asked her for something from the Starblaster? That was something she absolutely couldn’t give up, just as she couldn’t give up the Bulwark Staff. But she couldn’t just leave her memories outside Wonderland as she had with the Staff. Which meant she had to do everything in her power to protect her memories. While Cam considered, more smoke emitting from him, Lucretia cast a strong abjuration spell on herself, specifically protecting and blocking off her memories of the years she’d stolen from everyone else. The elves wouldn’t be able to even know they were there unless she slipped.

            Eventually, Cam agreed to lose some of his ability, and while nothing obviously changed, the second circle was illuminated red, and they progressed to the next room. Fighting their next foe became that much harder after Lucretia selected trust and Cam’s spell attack missed by one point.

* * *

            “Ooh, clock,” Lydia sounded… absolutely delighted. Lucretia became even more wary, as if this were possible, and watched as a small amount of black smoke curled out of her mouth. “Clock is always an interesting one when we have human guests.”

            “Careful, Lydia, we don’t want to be too brutal and discourage the poor girl.” Edward patted Lucretia’s shoulder, and again she felt nothing. That recognition sparked in her mind again, but she focused in on the two elves. Losing concentration around here could quickly prove deadly.

            “Of course not! Now, Lucretia, dear, clock is a toughie because you have to sacrifice… time. And as a human, well, you get so little of it. It seems unfair to just demand you give up, say, ten years of your life.” Lydia started circling Lucretia, predatory.

            “We could give her another option.” Edward joined his sister in stalking around Lucretia. “How about a game?”

            “A game?” Lucretia asked, incredulous, little wisps of smoke blowing from her mouth.

            Lydia, however, clapped her hands. “Wonderful idea. You’ll play a game, and we’ll even let you choose which one!”

            “And, if you win, that will count toward _both_ of your sacrifices for this round.”

            “What’s the catch?” Cam growled, eyes flickering between the two elves.

            “You needn’t say it like that, Cam.” Edward sounded mock offended.

            “He is right though. If we’re offering you something, we’re going to need a bit more in return. So, you can just give up ten years. You can play and win and be that much closer to your prize. But if you decide to play and _you lose_ , we’ll take twenty years of your life.” The impact of the statement was rather like a refrigerator falling on you, and for a moment Lucretia couldn’t breathe. She was still pretty young, not yet 30, and to go from your 20s to your 40s in a moment and that much closer to having your soul reaped by an emissary of the Raven Queen was terrifying.

            “Don’t play the game, Lucretia. Just take the ten years. I’ll deal with the next sacrifice.” Cam’s eyes were wide with concern, but Lucretia didn’t pay that much mind as smoke floated upward from Cam.

            The thing was, it wasn’t just getting the Animus Bell that was at stake here. This was, no exaggeration, the fate of this world. Lucretia had to get the Grand Relics to finally stop the Hunger, once and for all. And if she failed here, she might not even have 20 years left to live, if the Hunger ever found them. So she steeled herself.

            “I’ll play.”

            “Excellent!” Edward nearly purred. “What game are we playing?”

            “Chess.” It was a nearly automatic answer, given with a small, quiet smile. She had played near countless games with Merle aboard the Starblaster, who had mastered it over the course of his many games with John and still wanted to play even after he no longer spoke to the sanctimonious bastard. After beating Merle several times and losing to him many more, Lucretia was almost confident that she could win.

            “Even better.” Lydia grinned, a much wider smile than Lucretia’s, filled with sweetness and venom. A table, chairs, and a chessboard appeared in the room, all black and white marble. Still ignoring Cam’s protests and now more persistent stream of black smoke, Lucretia sat at the table. “Now, for your opponent. It seems like rather more fun if you play with someone you know, don’t you?”

            And this was Lucretia’s mistake. She’d been so, so guarded with her memories since earlier when Cam spun mind, knowing she had to protect her memories of the Starblaster and their mission, _the only memories of the Starblaster and their mission_ , at all costs. But in that moment, in thinking of Merle and chess and those quiet moments of happiness, she’d left Edward and Lydia an opening that she would soon regret.

            Neither Edward nor Lydia sat, instead waiting as more black smoke appeared, quickly congealing and condensing into a short humanoid form. A dwarven form. And the shadow of Merle Highchurch sat across from her, wearing a painfully familiar grin that contained none of its expected warmth, a grin that she could barely see through the smoke rolling off her in waves.

            Lucretia tried her best. And, truthfully, had she played against Edward or Lydia themselves, she might have won. But in that brief moment where they seized onto that memory of Merle and chess, they were able to equip the shadow with the mastery of chess needed to beat Lucretia. Her heart seemed to stutter as the shadow declared checkmate, but no, that _was_ her heart, trying to quickly adjust to its new age, while Lucretia stood from the table silently. The table, board, chairs, Edward, Lydia, and _Merle_ all disappeared.

            Cam took the next spin, saying nothing save to acquiesce when the elves demanded a finger. They were being kind here, they said, because Lucretia had been such a good sport about their little game after all, even though it hadn’t worked out in her favor, poor thing.

            “You know, I think Lucretia could use some encouragement.” Lydia might not have been in the room with them, but she still spoke in a dramatic stage whisper.

            “I think you’re right.” Edward stage whispered back, and then there was some rustling. And Lucretia jolted as, from somewhere deep within Wonderland, a bell rang.

            It would be years until Lucretia fully understood the significance of hearing the Animus Bell ring in Wonderland. And though the world had long since been saved and despite the time and distance from the place, the actual understanding, as Magnus again explained that last fight and the one time that he’d actually used his Magnetic Charge, would hit Lucretia with all the force of a runaway train, leaving her hunched over and gasping for breath. Surrounded by family in a far more hopeful future, she’d be trapped in that agonizing moment in Wonderland, hearing the promise of the Animus Bell’s ringing, and understand it for what it was. There were no winners in Wonderland.

            Edward and Lydia laid their trap well enough to begin with, between the flyers and the billboards and the lights leading to Wonderland. It really was effective advertising. But what had set Lucretia on this path, what had convinced her of its possibility, were the stories she heard, stories of victors who strolled into town and told tales of how they had conquered nearly impossible obstacles to obtain what they wanted most. The realization of the lie would be bile in Lucretia’s throat, that the Animus Bell had been used to wreak havoc just as the other Relics had been, and that everything, absolutely everything, could have been lost in that moment.

            And then she’d know that she sent her family into a hell they were not meant to escape going after a prize they were never meant to win. They would of course survive, defeat the monsters that she would willingly send them to, but fully understanding her role in what they would go through was truly the last, cruel act of the long gone and longer dead liches.

* * *

           “We’re in trouble.” Cam muttered quietly, watching the smoke that drifted upward from his mouth as they entered the next room.

            “No shit.” Lucretia replied, starting a laugh that she quickly cut off due to pain. She was fairly certain that several of her ribs were broken. She doubted whether she would be able to survive bad luck from spinning skull on the wheel again.

            “No, I mean, we’re really in trouble. Lucretia, they’re _liches._ ” Lucretia stopped. _Of course_. How had she missed it? She’d lived with Barry and Lup being liches for nearly two decades. And this… this was bad. She knew exactly what Barry and Lup had gone through, how they’d had to anchor themselves. But how had these liches done it?

            “The smoke. Suffering. They’re powering themselves through the suffering of everyone in here.” Lucretia realized, and she saw the dawning light of understanding on Cam’s face. “That’s their anchor.”

            “Shit, Lucretia.” Cam rubbed his face, and Lucretia focused on his hand, now one finger short. But they could beat this. Right? There had been other victors; both she and Cam had heard the stories. That was the trade-off; give the liches what they want to get that which you want most. That much remained the same. And liches or no, Lucretia intended to walk out of there with the Animus Bell. Lucretia intended to win in Wonderland.

            Edward and Lydia popped up before them, as if to distract from the realization that the trap Lucretia and Cam found themselves in was considerably more complicated than they had first known it to be. Lydia pursed her lips. “Hm, after that game, I think you two could use a Bonus Round.” The fake concern was remarkably grating at this point, and Lucretia wanted nothing more than to tell them where to shove that wheel of theirs. She might have, but she didn’t want to give them anything more than she could help. Especially knowing what they were doing with it now.

            “We’ll pass.” Cam spoke shortly, and Lucretia nodded her assent.

            “Oh, that makes this a little awkward then, but it’s really not optional.” Edward shrugged before both elves disappeared, and a new door opened into black unknown. With a sigh and just a bit of black smoke, the pair walked through to find themselves faced with three platforms, each illuminated from overhead with a brightly glowing neon sign. The three platforms were labeled, “Escape Game,” “Healing Game,” and “Recovery Game.”

            Cam looked at Lucretia, apprehensive. “What do you think, Lucretia?” She saw his eyes flicker to “Escape Game,” on the left, and Lucretia considered.

            She had clearly been… overly ambitious, to think that she could take on Wonderland and win. She wasn’t strong enough, just as she had been only just strong enough to save them all during her solo run. But she’d come so far, right? She’d heard the Animus Bell, knew the elves - _liches_ \- had it in their possession, somewhere in this hellish maze

            Lucretia looked at the middle and rightmost signs. “Healing Game,” could be useful, but there was no healing in Wonderland. Which meant, as Cam had said about everything here, that it came with a catch. She and Cam were about equal in hit points at this point, so that likely wasn’t a good option for them. With “Recovery Game,” Lucretia assumed it would be to recover something that they had given up earlier in their descent into Wonderland. But what would they have to give up in exchange? Lucretia tightened her mental grip shielding her century of memories again. No, that wasn’t a good option either.

            She looked back to “Escape Game.” A way out. She could regroup, get stronger, get more help, try again. The most important thing, after all, was stopping the Hunger, not beating these monstrous liches. She thought briefly of Davenport, and his vacant expression as she’d handed him the Bulwark Staff. She had to get back. So she looked at Cam and nodded. The pair stepped onto the “Escape Game,” platform.

            All three signs immediately went out as a ripple of light went through the room. Suddenly Lucretia and Cam were separated by a pair of pedestals, each with two flashing buttons, simply labeled, “Stay,” and “Go.” It seemed… too simple. Lucretia suddenly had the very awful feeling that they’d walked into a worse trap than they one they’d left behind.

            “The Escape Game is very simple.” Edward spoke as he reappeared, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “If you both hit Stay, well, that’s that, and you both Stay and make your way onward toward your respective prizes. And I have to say, you’re getting _really_ close now.”

            “If one of you hits Go though, then you’re whisked away, back out into the Felicity Wilds.” Lydia reappeared as well.

            “And if we both hit Go?” Cam asks pointedly, shrugging off Lydia’s hands on his shoulders despite being unable to feel them.

            “Oh, but you can’t. We really just _hate_ to have our guests leave, so if one of you hits Go, then the other _has_ to stay… forever.” Lucretia and Cam’s eyes widened, and twin streams of suffering smoke poured from their mouths.

            Cam looked frantically at Lucretia. “We can’t. The Felicity Wilds are hard enough to get through when you’re not half dead. If either of us left now… they wouldn’t survive ten minutes.” Determined but with his hand still shaking, whether from pain or fear Lucretia was unsure, Cam hit “Stay,” and the two buttons ceased flashing, leaving Cam’s face in shadow. Lucretia didn’t move. “We’re so close. Lucretia?”

            And Lucretia thought. She thought about her first home, the two-sunned planet, and how she had watched it be consumed by the Hunger. She thought about 99 worlds she had seen and explored and lived in. She thought of her family, effectively scattered to the wind, mostly through her own doing. And she thought about Davenport, who she’d left behind with a Relic that would attract unwanted attention if she left it long enough, because he was the only one she _could_ entrust it to. Davenport, whose safety she’d promised herself that she would ensure until she could restore his and everyone else’s memories.

            “Lucretia, look at me. You will die out there if you leave now. Do you hear me?”

            Lucretia had to survive. She had to, in order to save everyone. Even if that meant sacrificing someone. Cam. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She spoke as, without hesitating, she hit “Go,” and for a moment, it wasn’t Cam’s betrayed face she saw but Magnus’s, as she begged forgiveness when Magnus had seen what she had given to Fisher and what she had done. The buttons ceased flashing, and everything was dark.

            “Guess that’s that, then.” Lydia spoke pragmatically.

            “Oh, but that skull cap is giving me a _marvelous_ idea for what’s next for dear Cam.” Edward laughed, and Lucretia was filled with regret and dread and reached out-

            And then it was gone. Lucretia was standing outside surrounded by paths leading down from the edge of the clearing, down toward the hell that waited in Wonderland. She clenched her fist and looked down in surprise and fear to find that her flyer, the flyer that had led her to Wonderland, was once again in hand. She unclenched her fist to find it far more crumpled, the too cheery colors and letters now marred with lines from their unceremonious folding. Lucretia shoved the offending paper back in her bag and started her climb out of the clearing.

* * *

            Later, after her physical injuries had healed and she had worked with the Millers to build the moon base, Lucretia was in her vault, going over all of the information that she had regarding five of the Relics. The Phoenix Fire Gauntlet was just as lost as Lup, for now, she acknowledged with no small amount of pain. The Philosopher’s Stone had done as much traveling as hopefully Taako was doing then with his stagecoach and show, so she was unlikely to find either twin’s Relic. Magnus had left the Temporal Chalice with folks he had said were good people, but he had never clarified where. Safer that way. Until now. At least for the Oculus and the Gaia Sash, there were rumors of them being around Rockport and Goldcliff respectively, but Lucretia still had no real concrete information. And, after Wonderland and her own disastrous attempt to retrieve the Animus Bell, she was no longer in any state to go after them on her own. She glanced to cabinet in her vault, eyes locking on the drawer where she knew the crumpled flyer waited.

            She heard a call of “Davenport,” from her office, and oh, that was right, Lucas had mentioned stopping by to leave some of his latest planar research and get clarification on a few points. She hadn’t explained how she knew what she knew, though Lucas could get quite pushy and obstinate. It’d get him into trouble one day, likely with someone considerably more powerful. But he’d probably left his work with Davenport since Lucretia was working in her vault.

            Lucretia returned to her office, and in a moment the quiet smile she greeted Davenport with dropped off her face. Luckily, Davenport didn’t notice, heading out with a cheery, “Davenport!” That was for the best, because Lucretia had started shaking, staring at the papers on her desk as if a venomous spider had taken up residence there. That might have actually been preferable, come to think of it.

            Lying on top of the papers Lucas had given to Davenport, was a flyer from Wonderland. It was identical to the first, brightly colored, gaudy, _hideous_ and with a well-illustrated map of the Felicity Wilds and a picture of the Animus Bell.

            Lucretia sat at her desk and put her head in her hands, careful not to touch the flyer. Yes, she knew _exactly_ where that particular Grand Relic was, but it was the most out of reach of them all. Lucretia collected herself for a moment, before straightening. She still had work to do, and she was going to need help to do it. She glanced at the time. And luckily enough, her first interview for the Bureau of Balance, with an orc woman named Killian, was starting shortly.

* * *

             Years later, Lucretia stood at the edge of the clearing. It didn’t seem… right. It didn’t seem right that the circular clearing in the Felicity Wilds could be left empty, peaceful, unscarred by the presence of Wonderland and the horrors its occupants had inflicted upon so many for so long. Even though the boys had ensured its destruction, she would have expected some trace of its evil to mark the place.

            “I wanted to burn it the fuck down.” Lup said conversationally, but her eyes were watchful, studying Lucretia. She hadn’t seen what Lucretia had gone through, but she had heard and she had witnessed what Taako, Merle, and Magnus had endured, and that had been more than enough. “But between being in the Umbra Staff and apparently the whole thing just disappearing from existence…” Lup trailed off, shrugging.

            “I don’t see why I had to come.” Taako grumbled, glaring at everyone present in turn. “Totally unnecessary to bring cha’boy.”

            “We didn’t make you.” Magnus responded. The only indications as to how he felt about the whole scenario were his crossed arms.

            “I can’t… I’m still sorry, Magnus.” Barry apologized, again. “That’s… that’s probably the worst any of the Relics did to any of us specifically, and I made it.”

            “Taako’s stone was the reason I got my arm chopped off. Also Magnus chopped it off.” Merle pointed out.

            Davenport had been silent the whole time, but with a quick spell, an illusory copy of the tent and billboards appeared, complete with mannequins scattered around the area. He nodded at Lucretia.

            “I’m sorry, Cam.” Lucretia spoke quietly. “Let’s light it the fuck up.” With quick nods between them, they went to work. And okay, probably not the best idea ever, but leaving behind a burned out clearing, any trace of Wonderland real or illusory razed to the ground, was cathartic in its own way, especially surrounded by family. After all, her world safe and family reunited was what Lucretia had truly wanted from the start.

**Author's Note:**

> Lucretia is just such an interesting character to me, and several things about Wonderland struck me in particular- if Lucretia had heard the bell in Wonderland like THB, how the chess game worked since there wasn't really a comparable thing in the Suffering Game, what exactly happened during the Escape Game, and that Lucretia never knew what the Animus Bell did and how she would have felt when she finally found out. So this fic was the result. Also, I was repeatedly telling a friend as I listened that I wasn't going to be happy unless Wonderland burned to the ground.
> 
> I'm also charmandhex on tumblr; I don't plan on doing anything else with this fic in particular, but I've got a few (happier) TAZ ideas in the works, and I'm always happy to chat.


End file.
